The Rules

For those of you who don't already know, these are the rules that are in effect in every relationship.

  • The female always makes the rules.
  • These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
  • No male can possibly know all the rules.
  • If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
  • The female is never wrong.
  • If the female is wrong it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
  • If rule number six applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
  • The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
  • The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the female.
  • The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
  • The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
  • The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.
  • Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
  • The female always gets the last word!

These rules are subject to change as the female sees fit.

Vocabulary Help

  • angry - com raiva, nervoso
  • apologize - desculpar
  • bodily harm - dano físico
  • change her mind - mudar de idéia
  • consent - consentimento
  • know (know, knew, known) - conhecer, saber
  • last word - última palavra
  • make (make, made, made) - feitas
  • male - macho
  • misunderstanding - mal entendido
  • never - nunca
  • prior - antecipada
  • relationship - relação
  • remain - permanecer
  • rules - regras
  • subject to change - passíveis de mudança
  • unless - a menos que
  • upset - desapontado
  • vagrant - vago
  • wrong - errado


Borrowed from or depending on which Rubens prefers