The driver

A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman.
Woman Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman Oh, I see.
Officer Can I see your license please?
Woman I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer Don't have one?
Woman Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman I can't do that.
Officer Why not?
Woman I stole this car.
Officer Stole it?
Woman Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer You what?
Woman His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer2 Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman Is there a problem sir?
Officer2 One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman Murdered the owner?
Officer2 Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer2 Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2 One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2 Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!

Vocabulary Help

  • approach - aproximar
  • back away - afastar-se
  • backup - reforço
  • bag - sacola
  • body parts - partes do corpo
  • call - chamar
  • claim - afirmar
  • clasp - agarrar
  • drunk driving - dirigir embriagado
  • empty - vazio
  • give (give, gave, given) - dar
  • hack up - esquartejar
  • half drawn gun - arma semi sacada
  • handbag - bolsa
  • kill - matar
  • license - carteira de motorista
  • look - olhar
  • lose (lose, lost, lost) - perder
  • lying bastard - bastardo mentiroso
  • murder - assassinar
  • officer - policial
  • owner - proprietário
  • pull out - retirar
  • pull over - estacionar
  • purse - bolsa
  • puzzled - surpreso
  • see (see, saw, seen) - ver
  • slowly - lentamente
  • snap open - abrir bruscamente
  • speeding - excesso de velocidade
  • steal (steal, stole, stolen) - roubar
  • step out - sair
  • stunned - surpreso, aturdido
  • trunk - porta malas
  • vehicle registration papers - documentação do carro

Copyright

Borrowed from http://www.aprendendoingles.com.br/shtml/2012112.shtml